miss you MAA...

It’s been almost five long years that I have been away from home. (Hey!! not thrown out) and in spite of all what I have gained and lost in all these years, there is one person whom I miss always and that is my MOM. And yes, if there is any time that I have missed her the most, it is now. I have been missing her so much lately that I named this week of my life as ‘mother’s week’ and have been talking to her everyday over the phone like a little kid who has been out of the house very newly.

You must be thinking that what’s new in this; everybody misses their mom and dad but I have got strong enough reasons for missing her more than anyone else right now. There were some incidents which made me miss her like never before.

It’s been exactly sixth months and I have not been to home. Never before I had been out for such a long time. Even though I was living out because of my studies, I use to go back once every 2-3 months. This time it is long for me.

I finished my 3^rd sem of MBA and got my winter holidays but I didn’t go home even if I wanted to do. Instead I used this holidays in the most productive way. I went to ashram for an advance course and thus couldn’t go home. from the time I came back from ashram last December, I am missing mom like anything. But then again you have to be strong and get along with life. So I was again busy with studies, yes + and my placements. But whatever I did, at the end of the day I used to miss her a lot and when you are tired, there’s no better place than a mom’s lap…

Time passed and I was happy that after the end of my 4th sem classes and before the final exams I would definitely go home in march. But everything changed all of a sudden and by god’s grace I got placed and I must tell you I was the happiest person that day. But again I missed mom on such an important day of life. Still I thought it will be even better to go home in March with a placement and give her another reason to smile. But again things changed and I was asked to join in early by the company. I was lost. I had mixed feelings. On one side I was happy to start earning and on the other side I was missing my family and was not in a state to start anything before I met mom and dad. But again somehow I managed and joined in early. All the plans to go home were shattered and things started to look a bit difficult. I had to shift from Noida to Gurgaon in less than a week and that too with everything of my own. It was a difficult time finishing off everything in college and leaving friends all of a sudden. What was more difficult was to wrap up everything from the old flat and shift it to the new without knowing what to take and what to leave. With all of this going on, everything was hectic and my diet was getting neglected and this was the time that I missed something the most and it was ‘the ghar ka khana’.

Then came along a series of notifications or incidents you can say where everything I saw or observed made me remember my mom. One fine day I was travelling in the metro. As usual it was very crowded and at one of the stations a family got in and they stood right in front of me. There were 4 members: a couple with their kids. One of the kids was boy and he was the youngest. He was very cute with chubby cheeks. Right from the moment the family entered, all of them (the father, mother and sister) were very pampering towards the little boy and it was very obvious by their behavior. The mother hold the kid by crossing her hands across his chest from the back like a kangaroo holds his baby. She did it so that he doesn’t fall down in the metro jerks. It was nice to see her concern.

Then in between she used to kiss him in the cheeks and every now and then she would brush her hand across his hairs in the most subtlest and caring way. I just sat back and watched. As there was no seat available, I asked the kid to sit next to me making some space. He refused instantly as the comfort of standing near his mother was much better than sitting far away. But then when the mother insisted, he came and sat giving me a shy smile. I smiled back. Due to the crowd his mother moved a bit deeper on the other half and he got worried. Every other minute he would peep his head here and there like a peacock to see whether she is still there or not? It was funny but not for him. The mother would also pass a smile whenever she was able to see him from the crowd and then he would relax for a minute but again after few moments he was frantic to see her face as he feared of being left alone. Though you may not find anything special in this but this was how my childhood went. I was always a spoiled brat. With three elder sisters and being the youngest you can think the kind of royal treatment I would have received in my good old days. Soon I reached my destination and got down saying a sweet goodbye to the kid. Now I was missing mom more than ever. I went home tired and wanted something to divert my attention. I switched on the TV to watch something to refresh me. As soon the screen flashed, guess what!!! The song ‘MAA’ from taare zaamen par started playing. I just started to laugh at the series of events making me feel nostalgic. But then as the song progressed I was lost in it. Nothing bothered or worried anymore. I just relived my entire life in those few moments of bliss. I cried, busted into tears. Smiling and crying is not an art, its natural- I realized it that day. Luckily no one was there was at home so I was free to be myself and cry it out till all was drained out. The song got over but the hangover was there. I slowly walked towards the bed, switched of the light and was up for sleep but before I slept I kissed mom and hugged her tight. I don’t know how. Think I should have done it every day when I was with her.

Love you mom and yes miss you too!!!

JGD...